Homeschooling for 3

My daughter is currently in the second grade. Next year begins the wonderful world of standardized tests which are demanded by the state and “No Kid Left Behind”. When I was growing up, we had the yearly Citiwide examinations to test our math and reading skills, but that was nothing compared to what the system wants now.

Back in the time of the dinosaurs, the most preparation that you received for these tests was practice filling in little circles and the importance of reading all of the instructions were stressed. Unbelievable as it may be, our teachers weren’t worried about what we knew, because they had spent the better part of six months teaching us and helping us develop thinking ability.

Fast forward to the future — the school system spends 6 months teaching children how to take the test properly, and if they learn anything about how to learn and why they need to learn, that’s by accident. I’m not blaming the teachers — I come from a family of educators and they’re just as disgusted as I am. As a matter of fact, they are my biggest cheerleaders for homeschooling! My cousin is working with a group of unmotivated students right now, but she can’t do the creative things that she’d like to create synergy because she has to teach to a test!

So, although I must teach her how to be a lab rat for the standardized tests, I have renewed my pledge to make sure that she learns how to learn and how to do her own research and how to reach her own conclusions, none of which can be taught with this ridiculous emphasis on standardization. I am fortunate, however, to be a part of a cybercharter school that understands that learning and mandated standardized testing are 2 separate activities.

I read a report on this very subject of testing and unproductiveness of it all. It also elaborates on why my family of educators are all in favor of homeschooling. According to this article,

“Where once a test was a measure of what the teacher taught and the student
learned, some assessments based on new standards seem to be created to drive
someone’s idea of curriculum redesign and teacher education reform. Often in
media accounts of progress in standards and assessment, the words “children,”
“students,” “curriculum,” or “learning” are nowhere to be found. Testing is not
about teaching and learning; it is about testing.”

We need to be creating a nation of thinkers and doers, not test-takers who outside of the testing area are ill-equipped to handle the vagaries and challenges of life.

Today in church our associate pastor (who is from Africa) delivered the sermon to the congregation. Before he began his study on Ephesians he took a few minutes to remind everyone one of the true reason for the holiday. Many were shocked because they thought it was all about the Indians and Pilgrims, when in fact it was a rallying call to bring the nation’s attention back to God and the many blessings we’ve received. Amazing how this powerful holiday and call to God has been watered down to a fairytale about pilgrims and indians eating dinner together. It is amazing that today to invoke God’s name, or sing religious Christmas carols

I include the text in it’s entirety. I have bold-faced the parts that were emphasized in today’s service.

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Proclamation of Thanksgiving
Washington, D.C.
October 3, 1863
This is the proclamation which set the precedent for America’s national day of Thanksgiving. During his administration, President Lincoln issued many orders like this. For example, on November 28, 1861, he ordered government departments closed for a local day of thanksgiving.

Sarah Josepha Hale, a prominent magazine editor, wrote a letter to Lincoln on 28, 1863, urging him to have the “day of our annual Thanksgiving made a National and fixed Union Festival.” She wrote, “You may have observed that, for some years past, there has been an increasing interest felt in our land to have the Thanksgiving held on the same day, in all the States; it now needs National recognition and authoritive fixation, only, to become permanently, an American custom and institution.” The document below sets apart the last Thursday of November “as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise.”

According to an April 1, 1864, letter from John Nicolay, one of President Lincoln’s secretaries, this document was written by Secretary of State William Seward, and the original was in his handwriting. On October 3, 1863, fellow Cabinet member Gideon Welles recorded in his diary that he complimented Seward on his work. A year later the manuscript was sold to benefit Union troops.

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consiousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

William H. Seward,
Secretary of State

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Source: Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, edited by Roy P. Basler. http://showcase.netins.net/web/creative/lincoln/speeches/thanks.htm

Today my daughter, Jade, got her Yellow Belt in Taekwondo!!! She’s training with Master Issak. He drives from West Orange, NJ to the Poconos to teach the kids in my development for $5 per class. I’ve included his website, just so you can be proud with me. It’s www.karatewestorange.com.

I’m so proud of Jade. She’s 7 and has worked really hard to do well in the class. I think the hardest part for her is to stop worrying about hurting someone. She’s the only girl in her class (the other girls dropped out) and you can see the difference when it comes to the punching and kicking. When she’s practicing at home with inanimate objects she goes all out, but when she’s working with the teachers, I can see her pulling her punches and kicks a bit. The boys, however, in her class try to see if they can kick the bags and cushions to the moon. But today she not only did her 15 forms correctly, but she broke 2 boards with her fist. (She did one before the ceremony and the other one at the actual promotion ceremony). I have to figure out how to post her picture here. I’m such a proud momma.

Now my younger daughter is looking forward to joining the class in January. She’s only 4, but did a good job keeping up with the trial class. Michael’s only 1, but he could use a couple of classes to cut down on his energy spikes. I’ve decided he’s taking Taekwondo, swimming, tennis and/or soccer. That should minimize the damage he can do to my house. He’s such a busy boy!

Now, I have to get Jade ready for her dance recital next month. She’s taking jazz/tap/ballet and it only costs $5 per lesson. (One of those homeschool perks … I love $5 classes!) Stay tuned for more bragging …

I’m putting this out into the ether in the hopes that someone will stop by and give me some ideas. As I’ve mentioned before, I work with Prepaid Legal to earn extra money from home. But I’ve also signed up with another company for totally different reasons.

The company is SendOut Cards (www.cardsfloat.com). Now, I signed up with them as a distributor mainly because I love their product and the distributor level gave me more greeting cards per month than the other options. I use these cards to keep in touch with family and customers. It’s really an easy system and we plan to use their cards for our Christmas mailing. I haven’t been doing much of anything with the business — I just love the cards.

Anyway, I think the greeting cards would be a great fundraising tool, but I’m not sure (a) how to setup a fundraiser or (b) who to speak to about learning about fundraisers. The way it works is you sell the retail membership for $25 and the charity (or organization) gets $15 towards their goal. The other $10 goes to SendOut Cards to setup the account. I think that $15 per customer is a good donation, don’t you?

If you can think of any websites or organizations that might be able to give me some guidance on this, please let me know. Thanks!

P.S. If you want to experiment with the site, please feel free to do so. You can send out 3 postcards, 1 greeting card or 1 photocard from www.cardsfloat.com. We give free samples. Also, you can send real gifts, such as checks, chocolates, gift cards and other gift ideas using the service too!

Thursday I was on the phone with a representative from FIS Marketing, Inc. I work with Prepaid Legal and they were offering 200 free leads, so I filled out the application and the rest was history. I called the 800 number to learn more about their services and what I heard was great, but a bit pricey for me at this time ($495), but you get 500 leads. They do ad copy, send out autoresponders, and if you speak to the leads that you purchase about your product and/or joining the salesteam and they turn you down, FIS will give them a call and close them for you. That’s a really great program. And the leads cost about a buck a piece, so you can’t beat that.

Anyway, the salesperson (let’s call him “G”) was asking questions about my business, compensation plan, personal interests, etc. to see if they would be able to work with me if I decided to use their services. So of course, during the progression of our interview I mention that I homeschool my children. Well, G just about gave me a standing ovation. Let me tell you, I was not expecting that at all. If you homeschool, you know that once you make the statement about homeschooling you’re getting ready for some “socialization, do the children play with other children?” comments.

G’s sister homeschooled her kids and he was praising the process to the hilt. His take on public schools was that they are there to institutionalize our children and make them good drones. No individuality or opinions formulated on their own research or knowledge, just what the mass media and peers tell them to think. He went on along those lines for about ten minutes! It was really nice to hear someone who didn’t homeschool being such an advocate of the process. Has that ever happened to you?

Today was my son’s first birthday. He started his day off at 6:45 a.m. making a beeline to the kitchen. Well, actually, he did make a couple of detours. My 4 year old daughter was sleeping in my room, so he went to whack her in the head before deciding to bang on my bedroom door to be freed. It’s a good thing the 4 year old really loves him and thinks he’s her baby. I keep telling him that one of these days she’s going to whack him back, but he doesn’t seem to think that’s possible …

Anyway, school went fine today. My husband took my 4 year old daughter upstairs to review her alphabet (she’s trying to convince us that she doesn’t know any of her letters — strange girl) with the birthday boy. I tackled my 2nd grader’s courses and had to resort to tickling when her brain took a powder. I’ve found tickling to be quite effective if applied before the meltdown has time to build up momentum.

Anyway, all in all it was a pleasant day with the Birthday Boy “cooking” in his “oven” (the storage area under the actual oven) and trying to convince us that the pans needed to be placed in the refrigerator. He made his own birthday cake (with the help of his big sisters and dad) and got to play with lots of spoons, pans and mixing bowls. So, I think he enjoyed his birthday, even if he didn’t know it was his birthday. Next year we’ll actually do something with balloons and singing.

Tomorrow my second grader has a lot of club meetings to attend, so I’d best be off to sleep.

I’m really trying to remember to do a blog a day. Right now I’m exhausted from a day of schoolwork and tears. Children are very interesting. You put them to bed early, wake up in a good mood and I think all that contentment makes them crazy. My daughters spent the day crying over various (and mostly imaginary) problems. My four year old (who knows all of her phonics and has been reciting the alphabet forever) suddenly doesn’t know any of the letter names.

My seven year old, who has a natural aptitude for math, suddenly can’t do addition or subtraction. And I mean equations such as 15-5. The very appearance of equations made her cry. So, I let her play Harvest Moon for a bit (she needed to buy fertilizer for her farm and medicine for her cow)to let her get herself together before we got back to work. Mistake. The bull was sick too — she was an awful farmer and the tears started flowing again.

Her sister cried because her throat hurt her too much to recite the alphabet. Missy 4 year old has the makings of a dramatic actress. She can’t clean her room because her hands are too tired or her feet are tired of walking back and forth. So, when I didn’t fall for that excuse it turns into “J looked at me (substitute breathed on me, smiled at me, didn’t smile at me, etc.)”.

And all the while I’m diving to keep my baby alive for his 1st birthday tomorrow. While they’re trying to cry themselves a river, he’s trying to eat dog food, pull the cat’s tail, make stepping stones to reach something dangerous, you know, normal boy stuff.

So, I’m worn out and done in. I hope to have something more meaningful to say tomorrow. And I pray for a “dry” school day.

Thanks to Amethy for bringing this to my attention. I got a kick out of it. Out of all of the points mentioned in the article Gripe #2 is my pet peeve. Here’s what it says:

“Learn what the words “socialize” and “socialization” mean, and use the one
you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the
skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you’re talking to me
and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the
other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we’ve got a
decent grasp of both concepts.” [For the full article visit http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschooler.html]

Socialization (according to Clausen as quoted in Wilkipedia) refers:

“to the process of learning one’s culture and how to live within it. For the
individual it provides the resources necessary for acting and participating
within their society. For the society, inducting all individual members into its
moral norms, attitudes, values, motives, social roles, language and symbols is
the ‘means by which social and cultural continuity are attained’ (Clausen 1968:
5).”

Now, I don’t know about you, but the last time I checked, young mammals learn all about their culture and survival skills from the adults in their family. For example, when it’s time for the wolves to go hunting, litter mates do not just run outside and catch a moose. They travel with the adults to the kill and then watch how it is done. Then they imitate what they’ve seen. The adults of the pack correct and refine their techniques and one day when they have reached adulthood they are able to hunt effectively. And those pups that don’t pay attention are in serious jeopardy of not surviving to adulthood.

My father and I used to muse over the fact that we watch how mammals throughout the world raise their young, but deny the lessons that they teach when it comes to humans. Humans cannot learn about values, motives, social roles, language or moral norms from a someone who is in the same learning stages as themselves. Socialization comes from observing adults, watching how they deal with situations, asking questions, exploring your environment, etc. You don’t do that in school. School is about regimentation and what is most efficient, not what is most beneficiary to an individual student.

Case in point, I know of a 7 year old who is having problems in school. Her mother suspects that she has learning disabilities and wants her to be put back into kindergarten to give her time to understand the basics, before being asked to perform the rigors of 1st grade. She’s also asked to have her tested. They girl comes home with stomach aches, crying, fighting with siblings, not wanting to return to school, etc. But the school insists that she can’t be placed into kindergarten because they can’t leave anyone behind (don’t even get me started on Bush!!!!) Her mother is not in a position to homeschool her at this time, and feels bad that her child’s enthusiasm is being crushed under the wheels of the machine.

But back to socialization — no where, but in school are people surrounded exclusively by people of their own age bracket. School is not a fair representation of life. When you go on a job interview, you’re not being hired by another 18 or 21 year old. You’re being hired by an adult in their 30s+ range. When you work in a position you are put into contact with people of all ages. But how do you know how to conduct yourself, if you’ve never had experience with this kind of diversity? Home school children play better in mixed age groups and have less behavioral problems (http://learninfreedom.org/socialization.html) than their mainstreamed peers. And it’s only because they have to learn to deal on a regular basis with a broader spectrum than Brick and Mortar kids.

So instead of trying to figure out if the homeschooled kids have two heads, why don’t we all work harder to break up the peer groups and make the children learn to have empathy for all peoples and not just for their cramped little age group?

I was received my daily dose of Kim Klaver (www.kimklaverblogs.com) and was very intrigued by an article regarding companies having to pay fines for violating the Do Not Call List. I’m personally on the state Do Not Call List, as well as the federal list, but still they call. So I was a tad bit bemused and befuddled by the article.

Bemused: I am of the opinion that if you put your phone number on a survey, raffle, etc. you have to be ready to receive telephone calls from marketer. I mean, when you go to trade shows, the purpose of the show is to drum up revenue. So, why be angry when they give you a call. That doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, but then again McDonald’s did have to pay money to a man who spilled hot coffee on himself so …

Befuddled: I’m seriously confused since all of these people put their information out there for all to see and still get the company into trouble when they call them. Now, the reason that I’m confused is because I have been harassed by Dish Network affiliates for over a year and a half. Each time these yo-yos call I go to the FTC website to submit a complaint. And they still call! I have even written to DISH Network to tell them about the harassing calls, to no avail. I am sure that I’m not the only one who DISH is aggravating, so why wasn’t their name on that list?

If anyone has any suggestions on how to get DISH fined and stop calling me twice a day, please let me know. For some reason, the FTC doesn’t seem to read their email so that they can catch the real violators of the Do Not Call List.

I’ve noticed that Sundays put me into a contemplative mood these days. Maybe it’s because I’ve found a church that feels like home. Or maybe I’m just too pooped from the week of working, educating (and the never ending battle to keep my house clean) that all I have energy for is thinking.

Today I stumbled upon a website that’s whole premise is based upon the 31st chapter of Proverbs (http://avirtuouswoman.org). The person who was blogging about the site felt that it was very negative towards women. This of course caught my attention, so I went to take a look at it. I was pleasantly surprised to find it very practical.

Now, I’m not one of those people who believe that women should be subservient to men. Actually, my older brother predicted that no one would ever marry me because I’m so opinionated and want to be right all of the time. Well, I proved him wrong — I got two guys to marry me, so there! (Ooops, I forgot, he probably won’t be reading this so, moving on ….) I’m in no way in awe of the male of the species and I don’t designate them as higher (or lower) than a woman. I think we come out just about even. (Except when they’re totally weird!)

Anyway, from my brief sojourn of the site, these women are just interested in having strong family lives and homes, which is something that we have in common. Sometimes people wonder about people who homeschool. You know, why would anyone want to spend 24 hours a day with their children? kind of questions. I believe that educating my children is on of the most important things that I have to do with my life. I am well aware that my eldest daughter will probably choose to go to a brick and mortar high school once she comes of age, and that really doesn’t bother me much. By then she’ll have a good sense of who she is and will be strong enough to stand up for her convictions, even if they aren’t the “popular” ones that will be around in seven or eight years. But I truly believe that the values and lessons that she learns out in “the real world” (not the make-believe world of television, music videos and other artificial life forms) will help her to be a strong woman, one that I will be proud of her accomplishments, whatever they are.

My other two children are still very young, so I can’t speak for them yet. But I hope that the time that we all spend together will be something that they remember favorably and with lots of laughs. I love the way my children relate to each other. There’s no sense of superiority because one is older than the other. I don’t listen to them saying that the other can’t play with them because they’re younger. We work on a team concept here, and each family member is a vital player in our family’s success.

I really dislike the way that B&M schools have everything arranged by age group. In my opinion, it doesn’t foster fellow feeling or even an understanding of how to interact with diverse age groups. (I know, it’s the homeschooling children who aren’t supposed to know how to deal with people — not!) I mean, once these people get out of high school, they will be working with people who’s ages range from 18 to 65 — how will they deal with that when they don’t even think they’re supposed to play with anyone who isn’t just like them?

Case in point — I remember one day when my daughter was playing with some older kids on a neighbor’s trampoline. The older children didn’t want to share the trampoline with the younger kids and told them that they were babies and should go away. One of the little girls started to cry and my daughter (maybe a year older than the one who was crying) told those big kids off! It was great. She told them that they were selfish and should be ashamed of themselves. She also told them that the trampoline was for everyone and that only the owner could tell them they couldn’t use it. Then she turned her back on them and took the little ones away consoling them and explaining that the older kids just needed to grow up. You know, about 10 minutes later, the younger children were “invited” back to play on the trampoline and everyone had a good time.

Well, I’m beginning to ramble, so I’ll end this before I go off on another tangent. Good night!