Homeschooling for 3

Have you heard the phrase, “I am a man of my word”? Or heard people say, “I give my word …” ? Now, we understand that the giving of one’s word means that you’re making a promise to do something. However, I think that in today’s world the phrase has lost much of it’s original meaning. You know, it’s like saying, “Bless you” when someone sneezes. Most people don’t really mean “May God bless you and protect you ” when they utter those words.

So, what does it mean when you say, “I give you my word”? As I spend more time reading  history and the personal writings of people in history this phrase has taken on new meaning for me. When we say, “I give my word” that is more than a half empty promise. Actually it’s more serious than a promise. It is a binding and unbreakable contract between people. When you give your word you are binding yourself morally to a course of action. It is a matter of honor and not convenience.

How far we, as a society, have fallen from that original meaning. As a matter of fact we have even coined  phrases that cover the way people treat their spoken word. If someone promises to do something, we’ve become so skeptical of people carrying through that we say things like “talk is cheap” and “put up or shut up.”

And that’s what a promise has become — something of no consequence. Basically, as a society, we are teaching our children that “promises are made to be broken”. Through the media and sometimes our own example we are teaching them that honor is a nice concept, but not practical in today’s world. I mean, “You meant well…” or “You tried…” and that excuses us from any responsibility.

In our training and educating of our children, this matter of “Keeping Your Word” is one of the most important lessons that we can impart. And here’s why:

• Morally: People (but especially children since they’re more likely to follow through) need to understand that they have an obligation to someone other than themselves. Being aware of our obligations to others helps the community function more smoothly, generates trust which in turn alleviates a lot of conflicts.  How many relationships could be saved if we truly trusted that the other person would keep their word and they knew that we would keep ours?

• Intellectually: I was chosen to review a language art curriculum called “The Madsen Method”.  This is a neurologically complete program based upon the methods used during Colonial times. It engages and strengthens all four areas (Say, Hear, Do, See) of the brain. Basically this means that when you say something, you hear yourself say it, then you do what you heard yourself say and see your results. Using this method of instruction, the United States colonies were the most literate people in the world. Why? Because their whole brain was fully utilized to learn a skill — they had “backup systems” that strengthened their retention of all lessons learned. And isn’t our goal to create people with thinking ability and life skills?

• Physically: Now the importance of this process is that when you give your word, your body and mind are all waiting to accomplish the stated goal or task. But if you balk and do not follow through with your stated intention, you are causing neurological issues within yourself. Imagine how much confusion a person who never follows through on his stated intentions. The stress level must be enormous! We know that stress creates higher blood pressure levels, headaches, irritability, inability to concentrate, etc.?  So when we don’t follow through our entire nervous system is affected.

Our bodies are designed to tell the truth, so why don’t we? It’ takes far less energy to tell the truth and follow through than making a myriad of excuses, lies and half-truths (and remembering them!) does. Being a person of your word means displaying moral courage. If someone asks you to do something that you don’t want to do just say so. At times people will be disappointed with your decisions, maybe even angry.

But at the end of the day, even your bitterest enemies will have respect for the fact that you stood your ground. They may never come to like you, but they will always respect you. Keeping our word is the best lesson that we can teach our children if we want them (and us) to have lead happy and (relatively) stress-free lives.

By demonstrating this type of moral courage we will be helping to shape our children (and hopefully others who observe us) to be leaders and not to be afraid to be honest about their thoughts and feelings. This honesty will create strong relationships that will spill over into all aspects of their lives and ultimately lead them to the level of success that they wish to obtain. Isn’t that a goal worth working towards?

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